My list of grievances

So I didn't ride the bus this morning. My lovely lady gave me a ride. Fridays are hard people. It was really hard to wake up. I was dreaming that I had two alarm clocks and they were alternating in going off. I'd hit the snooze on one and 9 minutes later the other would go off. I woke up confused. Looking back, that sounds like a bad dream.

Aaanyway, since nothing happened this morning, I thought I'd share my thoughts on some bus-related things that I deal with on a regular basis. AKA, my list of grievances.

1. There are no single seats on a bus. There are two seats per row, unless you're in the way back and then there's five. If you sit in the aisle seat leaving the window seat available, DO NOT be pissed when I ask to sit down. I like to sit just as much as you do. Just be thankful that I don't hover over you awkwardly allowing my bag to whack you in the head with each lurch of the bus.
a. In relation to the above issue, do me and you a favor and pick your fat ass up off the seat to let me sit down. As much as you don't want me shoving my ass in your face or hitting you in the head with my bag, I want it EVEN LESS. Although I do feel a bit of poetic justice when it happens.

2. This is similar to point number 1. When in a seat and the bus is crowded, YOUR BAG DOES NOT DESERVE A SEAT OF IT'S OWN!! Don't be pissed when I ask you to hold your bag on your lap so that I can sit down. It makes me think less of you as a person.

3. If there are open seats, where neither of the seats in the row are taken, sit in those. Don't sit next to me. I don't like it.

4. School kids. Aren't there School Buses? I know there are! I get stuck behind them on a regular basis. Then why, oh why, must the bus be packed with kids, who act just as retarded as they would on an actual school bus. (Yes, retarded. I was one of those kids. The school bus was where you acted like a caged animal finally set free and dared other kids to snort Fun Dip powder.) After working all day, I really don't care that Kaylie's parents are going out of town and that Jackson has some friends who can go over to her house and move all the furniture into Kaylie's parent's bedroom. This way she can have the most kick-ass house party! The only issue left to figure out is whos' older brother will buy them beer. Yes, this might prove difficult.

5. People with baby carriages. When did baby carriages become HUGE? Seriously, the other day I saw one that had more gadgets then a car. Do you actually need to carry all that crap for your kid. Sometimes I wonder if there's actually a baby in there. How would I know? Maybe you're just a freak who likes to pretend and take up the space of three people. Do they even make umbrella strollers anymore? Classy, sophisticated, and portable. Again, DON'T GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK WHEN I TRY AND GET PAST YOU AND YOUR GIANT STROLLER.

I think that's good for the moment. There are more, but I'll share them for a later date.