Hello Everyone!! Work has sucked and therefore this blog has sucked since I haven't had the time or energy to write funny things for you needy kittens. People have pointed this out to me, but I'm going to give Stacy A a huge round of applause because she basically told me that if I can't write something funny, then she sure as hell will. So without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the wacky adventures of Stacy A on the T.
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Stacy commutes from Davis Square to the Prudential Center every morning and her experiences with the wild and wicked T are rich. Today she's going to share a recent encounter of the one-armed kind.
This morning the T was PACKED. Clearly not a "call in sick" kinda day for anyone. I do my best to keep my earbuds firmly in place and my nose deep in my book, avoiding the unwanted caresses of my fellow T riders around me. My patience is wearing thin as I wait for an E line train at Park Street. 20 minutes later I CRAM myself onto the train and get more than a few dirty looks. No one had enough faith to wait for the next train that morning. The result being a T riding experience turned giant trust fall -- plenty of people can't reach the pole to hold on. Luckily no one could possibly fall down because we're so tightly packed in. Love. Boston.
We make it to the Boylston stop and a gentleman tries to get off the train. But we all JUST got on at Park and aren't ready or willing to re-arrange a single stop into our green line adventure. He somehow swims through the crowd and makes it to the door *right* as it's closing. In an attempt to change fate, he throws his empty sleeve into the door, at which point I (and no one else?) realize he's a one-armed man. He soon realizes his mistake and thrashs around for a bit trying to free himself. No luck. He rides a full stop with his sleeve flapping and fluttering in the T-tunnel breeze. Once we made it to the Arlington stop he marched off the train all pissy and indignant.
The entire 4 minutes we were between stops, I was doing that silent laugh where your whole body shakes. I even came REAL close to saying something. I may have even muttered, "Didn't you LEARN?!?" under my breath. But I'm pretty sure he would have found a way to free his shirt and pummel me if I had spoken. Safety in silence.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday, Monday, bah dah, bah dah dah dah
If you understand my title, I'll give you claps (not the clap because I don't have that nor would I give that away since it seems like a pretty crappy prize, but the hands slapping together kind... I digress). Side Note: I'm having a lot of trouble typing today. I think it's because my office is frigid and I have stiff little fingers. I'll be sure to spell check this thing, but there may be a few real words that slip through and yet make no sense at all. Forgive me.
Okay, so yeah, last week I didn't write anything. I rode the bus frequently, and things did indeed happen or at least give me the mental baroo (or baroo #2). I will apologize ahead of time for this coming week. It's not looking good folks. Especially the end of the week. I fear that this blog will become one of those things I used to do back in my carefree, run through the field without my shoes on, twirl and gaze up at the sun whilst wearing a floppy straw hat days. (I don't think that has actually happened to me and bears strong resemblance to a birth control pill or feminine hygiene product ad.) Since I'm not yet in the throes of the week, let me regale you with some stories. Come twirl with me people!
The ride in today was very uneventful, but I learned two things. One, that I can leave my house after 7:45 and make it to work by 8:30 and not have certain people know because they haven't made it to work yet either. It's a win. Two, my bus stop doubles as a school bus stop. I mention this because A) I'm excited to see children ride the school bus and not my city bus, and 2) I was incredibly concerned that this group of children ranging in age from 5 to no more than 7 were going to get on a city bus... ALONE. This was prior to me knowing that a real school bus would pick them up. I was thinking about how irresposible the parent's of these children must be. "Here's your lunch and your bus pass. Try not to sit in the seat that has pee on it. If a man sits next to you and introduces himself as 'Tosi' while digging two knuckles deep in his nose, don't talk to him (a real man). Make sure you get off at the stop that's two blocks before your school 'cause if you miss it, the next stop is five blocks past your school." That would fall into the category of horrible parent.
As for last week, I can only remember one thing. Weird things on people's heads day. At first I was going to call it weird hair day because I sat down and the woman in front of me had her hair done up nicely in a bun of braided hair. Not weird you say? What if I told you that she had had it airbrushed with gold stripes and glitter? Not weird enough you say? What if I fuurther told you that she had an array of bobby pins adorned with rhinestone and pearls strategically arranged all over her head and bun? Yes, you finally agree... weird. I decided to change it to weird things on people's heads day when, after I stopped studying the hair in front of me, I saw a girl (maybe woman) sitting in one of the back facing seats wearing a hat that was supposed to make her look like a cat. I found this picture and it looks startlingly similar to cat girl. A) it was way too warm to wear a cold weather hat 2) it had cat ears and she was over the age of 20 (I'm guessing).
I had one final confirmation of weird things on people's heads day. It occurred as two girls got off the bus and looked at the woman with the hair. One teenage girl had her mouth open like a wide-mouth bass, while the other had a smirk and shoved the other girl out of the bus. They were friends and obviously making fun of the hair lady. Now, yes, I think it's weird hair too, BUT I give hair lady credit. She thinks she looks beautiful and spent a lot of money on that 'do. It's not ugly, just really really different. It made her feel confident and the weirdest/ugliest thing I saw on the bus that day were the ugly faces of children who would rather ridicule than consider the feelings of others. It made me feel sorry for hair lady, but mostly just angry at the childish invectives that can still hurt at any age.
Hair lady, I salute you. May you always wear your hair whichever way it makes you feel beautiful.
Okay, so yeah, last week I didn't write anything. I rode the bus frequently, and things did indeed happen or at least give me the mental baroo (or baroo #2). I will apologize ahead of time for this coming week. It's not looking good folks. Especially the end of the week. I fear that this blog will become one of those things I used to do back in my carefree, run through the field without my shoes on, twirl and gaze up at the sun whilst wearing a floppy straw hat days. (I don't think that has actually happened to me and bears strong resemblance to a birth control pill or feminine hygiene product ad.) Since I'm not yet in the throes of the week, let me regale you with some stories. Come twirl with me people!
The ride in today was very uneventful, but I learned two things. One, that I can leave my house after 7:45 and make it to work by 8:30 and not have certain people know because they haven't made it to work yet either. It's a win. Two, my bus stop doubles as a school bus stop. I mention this because A) I'm excited to see children ride the school bus and not my city bus, and 2) I was incredibly concerned that this group of children ranging in age from 5 to no more than 7 were going to get on a city bus... ALONE. This was prior to me knowing that a real school bus would pick them up. I was thinking about how irresposible the parent's of these children must be. "Here's your lunch and your bus pass. Try not to sit in the seat that has pee on it. If a man sits next to you and introduces himself as 'Tosi' while digging two knuckles deep in his nose, don't talk to him (a real man). Make sure you get off at the stop that's two blocks before your school 'cause if you miss it, the next stop is five blocks past your school." That would fall into the category of horrible parent.
As for last week, I can only remember one thing. Weird things on people's heads day. At first I was going to call it weird hair day because I sat down and the woman in front of me had her hair done up nicely in a bun of braided hair. Not weird you say? What if I told you that she had had it airbrushed with gold stripes and glitter? Not weird enough you say? What if I fuurther told you that she had an array of bobby pins adorned with rhinestone and pearls strategically arranged all over her head and bun? Yes, you finally agree... weird. I decided to change it to weird things on people's heads day when, after I stopped studying the hair in front of me, I saw a girl (maybe woman) sitting in one of the back facing seats wearing a hat that was supposed to make her look like a cat. I found this picture and it looks startlingly similar to cat girl. A) it was way too warm to wear a cold weather hat 2) it had cat ears and she was over the age of 20 (I'm guessing).
I had one final confirmation of weird things on people's heads day. It occurred as two girls got off the bus and looked at the woman with the hair. One teenage girl had her mouth open like a wide-mouth bass, while the other had a smirk and shoved the other girl out of the bus. They were friends and obviously making fun of the hair lady. Now, yes, I think it's weird hair too, BUT I give hair lady credit. She thinks she looks beautiful and spent a lot of money on that 'do. It's not ugly, just really really different. It made her feel confident and the weirdest/ugliest thing I saw on the bus that day were the ugly faces of children who would rather ridicule than consider the feelings of others. It made me feel sorry for hair lady, but mostly just angry at the childish invectives that can still hurt at any age.
Hair lady, I salute you. May you always wear your hair whichever way it makes you feel beautiful.
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